Too nice

I've been told I am too nice, too many times. What comes to my mind instantly was a friends lack of interest to travel to Jamaica with me, as I might get us killed. Apparently smiling with strangers does that. But as I approach the golden years (yes the dreaded 23) I am beginning to realise that everyone doesn't have a bag of sunshine within them. So for that ex that's a total, complete, utter scunt (apologies for the reiteration and indecent language)  its "lightbulbed" me that I can no longer excuse his actions as childhood or commitment issues, he may very well just be a bad person with no heart. That person that has attitude with everyone all the time, may not be a nice person under it all but may very well just be a "BITCH". I am slowly learning that people will hurt you , but the truth is you can't allow a person with a cloud over their heart to damper your bright ray of sunshine . I love that I am always smiling, and that  I believe in good most of the time. I think a bit of innocence makes life more amazing. If I have friends that knowingly hurt people , I beg of you to stop, hurting other people; it will only come back to you in the long run. To my friends that have been allowing someone to hurt you more than once, I beg of you to stop. People will only do to you what you allow them to, just as much as you should do to other as you would appreciate in turn. I am pretty sure you've heard some of this before, but I think that's cause 100 french men can't be wrong (I hope I said that right).


Here's hoping I stick with you....Caramel :)

Birth

So as another year ends, another birthday soon approaches. This year I have decided to give thanks, not just to God, or those who buy me gifts ( although the lot that does will probably be on my fave list for a while). I wanna thank my parents, they could have aborted me, would have been a whole lot cheaper; which is why I don't quite believe in it, although a child may not be born in the best of circumstances, none of us are aware of what the future holds and I just see it as selfish when we assume that this bundle of joy can do more harm than good. Back to the point at hand as I seem to be straying, I wanna thank my grandma, who was  and always will be there for me , even when she's not "here" anymore. My friends and family otherwise, I realise I am in no way the easiest person to tolerate, and I wanna say I appreciate it ( tears are forming ). I am demanding, mean, miserable and countless other things, yet as the people who love me, you hold on the positive of me and that is indeed enough for me to be thankful. This 22nd birthday just feels like the year I wanna buy my friends gifts( but that's not gonna happen).  I may not have a boyfriend  or even that degree I would have liked to have by now, or Monique or Amarantha here with me <3 its ok. Cause although I don't have all I want, I pretty much have all I need. I am learning and still loving. So to all of my loves ones thanks for making my 22nd yr of life worth it.

Here's Hoping I stick with you ......Caramel :)

I almost feel sorry for them.

OJ, Kobe, Herman and all these other black stars....Are they guilty and if they are........are they any worse than the next "man". I believe they are victims of their own stardom. I'll start with the most recent claims on "Hermz"......... I wasn't there so I will never really know, but I find it very interesting more so, disturbing how vindictive women can be. It's a bit to convenient when the minute your famous or running for office or run into some good money, everyone remembers that you've "bullpoop" them....Then everybody and their granny been molested by you. Although Mr. Mcain is doing a horrid job at convincing most persons of his innocence, I somehow think (don't kill me for this) that he probably just made some kinda "pervy" joke ( you know how black men are visual) and  they ran wild like 6 o'clock pix news. Kobe......hmph .........I'm just saying most of the black stars end up in shit , when they date white women,  their complaining about how black women aren't understanding and caring, sometimes their best off just staying with their kind. I do believe that if he had shacked up with some black girl........she would been cool enough to just tell her friends" gurrrllll.....I hooked up with Kobe", but NOOO.....white girl on CNN, NBC, ....And prob got her own Lifetime Movie now ....so to his story, I say , stick to the evil you know, as although we nagging, demanding, draining, pushy...etc:), at the end of the day, most times, the black woman stands behind her man. OJ- he's prob the biggest..."did he do it" star, cause his own was murder and the woman was white, so you know they holding on to that shit, just like Kobe, they will never learn. People will argue of his criminal record after that alleged murder, but maybe in his innocence (if such)...he was affected by the whole drama........its like when you put an innocent man in jail, he can come out a hardened criminal, just by the experience, maybe not antigua jail(I mean really).... Should we really feel sorry for them? Or I am the only one who pity's them?

Here's hoping I stick with you.............Caramel :)

Unforgettable

Didn't know writers block was so serious,I couldn't quite gather all my thoughts to put anything together, hence the inconsistencies . So I'm on vacation now (awesome) and daytime TV is my new best friend. I was watching the season finale of  "Will and Grace" ( really funny show might I add) and the  song " Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole is sang by two of the cast members http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFhl2ddckKc&feature=related  , call me a softy but it had me thinking of all those moments and friends in life that were oh so "unforgettable" . Sometimes we don't appreciate those people in our lives, the ones that care truly, that call, that text, that cry when you cry and hurt when you hurt. In reality all the friends we have today may not be the ones we hold dear tomorrow, but they indeed play a role somehow in the individual we are or become. So some of the most unforgettable moments are those firsts, you know, that first day at school, or first failed exam, or first boyfriend/girlfriend, first kiss, first love....those moments we wouldn't trade for money. That which transcends for me is the first heartbreak (oh dear...lol), that moment you heart stops beating and I believe the word suffocation comes to mind as all breath appears to have been lost. The funny thing is most people wouldn't trade in the love felt to avoid the heartbreak, I suppose the bigger the romance or the love the deeper the heartbreak. In recent times a friend let me read one of his poems as I was saddened by a matter;

 Moth 
I’m attracted o you like a moth to a flame 
I look into the fire and hear you calling my name 
But like the moth, drawn too close I get burnt 
And like the moth I never learn 

The fire of you threatening to consume me 
The light, blinding me, until I cannot see 
See the pain you cause me the pain I cause me 
Trying to reach the flame, reaching for what cannot be 

Am I condemned to be that moth forever? 
Can I from this curse be severed? 
Destructive attractive, forever calling my name 
I am your moth, you are my flame 

I see this as being unforgettable!!!!!!

I believe what makes anything unforgettable is love.

So to my loved ones , just in case you ever forget how much you truly matter to me I just want you to know in the words of good ole' Nat,"  Unforgettable whether near or far, Unforgettable in every way, and forever more that's how you'll stay." Hopefully you guys think I'm unforgettable too. 

Here's hoping I stick with you ...Caramel :)

My first

The inspiration to start blogging came from being super emotional and no where to put it. The push  however came from a "customer" I had in the "bank" who didn't have a wedding ring on, rather he had a tattoo around his ring finger. I was more than amazed to hear a man say that it was to signify forever, unlike a ring you can take off, he also mentioned how much cheaper it was :) (men always make it about money...geesh).  But I wonder at times if "one" love is enough, from experience I know that although I have come across a few assholes, ( a few is an understatement, I have an asshole magnet) each one has been memorable, some for love, some for money, some for smiles, and some for that learning experience. No one person can offer all the things you need.  When seen through loves eye (and love has a kaleidoscope effect on one's vision) everything the person does is amazing....isn't love stupid. So my theory is love as long as it last, cause for what reason should we blindly see someone as perfect or beyond the stars great, when they are not,  why not fall in and out of love as we wish and enjoy each person for their perfected aspect, rather than their perfect being or our desire for them to be such.
I have had friends who in their lifetime will only had been with one man, and for that reason allow themselves to be mistreated and possibly sexually deprived ( this is possibly the most important aspect, lmao); Not that an extensive dating history will save you from this either but I can only imagine how it could aid in a more knowledgeable and wise individual. I think life is to short for forever, mind you, their is youth for all the crazier things in life and their is maturity; as settling down is awesome; cause nothing beats loving and being loved. I just don't think we should think in the box when we live in a sphere.

Here's hoping I stick with you.....Caramel :)